01.21.15
by

Here’s An Accurate And Honest Summary Of “Devdas”

LINK TO THE FULL POST: http://bzfd.it/158G5Fj

“Devdas” is an eye-opening documentary about a woman called Paro – who is suffering from severe delusion and Stockholm syndrome – and her boyfriend Devdas, an unsalvageable misogynist with anger management issues and an alcohol problem. Over the years, millions of viewers have mistaken “Devdas” for a tragic Bollywood period piece about love and love lost, but here it is: retold in all of its genuinely fucked up glory.

DADA

07.06.14
by

The Ten Days of Ramzan (12 Days of Christmas)

On the first day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
A fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the second day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the third day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the fourth day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the fifth day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
5 qayamat warnings, 4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the sixth day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
6 nikkah promises, 5 qayamat warnings, 4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the seventh day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
7 iftaar items, 6 nikkah promises, 5 qayamat warnings, 4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie

On the eighth day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
8 shukrana nifils, 7 iftaar items, 6 nikkah promises, 5 qayamat warnings, 4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the ninth day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
9 modest outfits, 8 shukrana nifils, 7 iftaar items, 6 nikkah promises, 5 qayamat warnings, 4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

On the tenth day of Ramzan, my true love gave to me,
Ten Ashra duas, 9 modest outfits, 8 shukrana nifils, 7 iftaar items, 6 nikkah promises, 5 qayamat warnings, 4 sehri coupons, 3 hijab pins, 2 ajwa cartons,
And a fully covered Snapchat selfie.

07.02.14
by

We Are All Aamir Liaquat

Just shedding some light on the FACT that everyone is actually just Dr Aamir Liaquat Hussain trapped in a different body.

 

You often secretly feel like a total boss.

 

More often than you should, actually. This is you after a presentation.

 

In fact, you’re positive you ARE royalty. 

 

You think you are smarter than everyone.

 

You cannot stand most kids but you have had to pretend you like them.

 

In fact, you sometimes wish you could give away that annoying kid in your family

 

When your jam is on the radio, no one can stop you from grooving.

 

Sometimes you can’t stop admiring what you see in the mirror

 

At some point, you’ve also posted a ‘Jummah tweet’ or Facebook status.

 

But you also love sweet, sweet subtweeting 😉

In front of your family, you’re a total angel.

 

When you’re with your friends, you swear non-stop and crack ridiculously sexual perverted jokes which you laugh your own ass off at

 

But when your mum tells you your female cousin was caught speaking to her ‘boyfriend’ on the phone…

 

You’ve pretended to read the news to look smart

 

This is you on the weekend. #IftaarShow

 

And this is you on Monday mornings. #MorningShow

 

This is you on Shabe Qadar….Or when bae doesn’t text back.

 

Sometimes you find yourself helplessly unable to give a fuck about things.

 

We are all Aamir Liaquat and it is high time we admit it.

06.21.14
by

90’s Pictorial Film Rewind: Dil To Pagal Hai

Wrote an honest summary of another SRK classic — Dil To Pagal Hai.

Served with Pothead Madhuri and sexist Rahul!

LINK TO PIECE: http://www.buzzfeed.com/imaansheikh/madhuri-dixit-is-a-pothead

Twitter: @SheikhImaan
Facebook: Imaan Say
Email: contactimaan@gmail.com